Things 2011 Taught Me

If something really odd happens at the stroke of midnight on NYE – the year that follows will be equally odd. You can gain weight pretty easily when you’re too busy caring about everything else (school, making your failing relationship “work”, etc.) to care about yourself. Someone can love you so much because of what you bring to his life that he is willing to destroy the very things he loves about you so that you will stick around. And it can take a long time before either of you realizes what’s happening. Free spirits can be further liberated and later shackled by the same love. Finding one of your “soul mates” is as awesome as everyone claims, and is worth the experience even after things fall apart. People mostly don’t know what the fuck they want out of their lives. They just think they do, and they’ll spend immense time groping around in the dark. I can do everything I ever want to do, even if it sometimes takes me longer than other people to do it. Things can get so bad I will wish I knew how to give up, and stay down, and stop taking licks “like a man.” I’m probably made of adamantium. You can get a 25% raise after working in a place for only 2.5 months if someone really sees the value in having you there. My health can fail me without any prompting from my lifestyle. There is nothing watching over me, no laws of moral causation. And it’s ok. You can’t disown me when I never wanted anything to do with you in the first place. You can’t buy a relationship with me, not even if you already have your foot in the door by being related to me. My real-life people are mostly terrible listeners. My online people are supportive in ways I didn’t expect them to be. I’m going to pretend I’m not allergic to mangoes until it becomes life-threatening or makes my eyes swell up again, and my skin all itchy. I can be so low-key that people think I’m on pot…including people who’ve made their professional livings smoking, writing, and singing songs about pot. Cool shit happens to me all the time. I remind my girl cousins of our childhood, and it brings them some measure of comfort now that their mom has passed. I will always want to run (figuratively, literally). I will never be able to settle.